In Defense of Nickelback (Sort of)

Nickelback has written songs that contain some of the worst lyrics in the history of music. Take, for example, the lyrics to 'Photograph':

Look at this photograph

Every time I do it makes me laugh

How did our eyes get so red?

What the hell is that on Joey's head?

Kim's the first girl I kissed

I was so nervous that I nearly missed

But wait, there's more! Here are the lyrics to 'Something in Your Mouth': 

I love the way you dance with anybody

And tease them all by sucking your thumb

You're so much cooler when you never pull it out

'Cause you look so much cuter with something in your mouth

When they are not penning horrible lyrics they are writing boring rock songs that pretty much sound exactly the same. I am amazed they can get on stage and perform with total sincerity in front of tens of thousands of fans. But therein lies the rub: on any given night, tens of thousands of people are willing to pay money to see Nickelback live. 

In my opinion, Nickelback is bad at music. I have almost nothing positive to say about anything they've done, and I know that millions of people agree with me. However, in a certain sense Nickelback is a tremendously skilled band. One of the most difficult things to do is create something that is enjoyed on a large scale and Nickelback has been able to do this well as anyone. Their total albums sales are over 35 million worldwide and they routinely play to sold-out arenas filled with enthusiastic fans. They are virtual shoe-in to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. 

Nickelback is deserving of criticism, ridicule, and the occasional rock thrown on stage. But they also deserve praise for writing music enjoyed by the masses. That's an extraordinarily rare skill and I respect them for creating music that makes a lot of people happy. In addition, they deserve credit for being so fun to hate. I've had a lot of fun talking to people about how much I dislike Nickelback. This is largely because they are an easy target and these conversations involve people agreeing with my point of view, which in turn makes me feel good. 

So for all their stupid songs about stupid topics, the existence of Nickelback is a good thing. They are a source of positive and negative enjoyment unlike anyone else in music. For this I tip my cap in their general direction.